There are moments when I feel I am being watched. When I am fully and completely alone I can feel someone's hand on my shoulder. Phantom spider webs dancing across my skin, whispered voices just beyond my sense of comprehension. Where does life start and dream end? Where do the memories fade and the here and now come into play? I do not have the answers to these questions. Half the time I will be at work and loose several hours. Ya know where you look at the clock and it's one time and then you look again and it's four hours later and you dont feel as though time has past at all....Something in me is changing what I am not sure. I feel as though my husband and I are drifting apart and i don't think it's him...i'm drifting away from everyone. Even my familar doesn't want much to do with me these days. What's wrong with me? Has the need to know the past and no way to see it or be shown it finally driving me mad? Shatter pieces to a puzzle scattered across time itself. A black rose, a male's face I can never see, my guardian always a black panther or humoid figure always male, a white dress I wear, a woman in red faceless as always though her identity is felt, a castle, the sun rising, a garden you can see the mountains standing tall, a throne made of cold dead stone and the skulls of the enemy, a hallway, a balcany,.....all peices, pieces to something so warped and twisted I may never figure it out......is there some one out there that can help me? I saw my aurora again........i've seen it alot lately. I've been snappish, stand off ish. I"m not like that at all...i'm usually quiet non judgemental.......i'ave had days where i've just put my face in my pillow pulled the covers over my head and screamed............help me...........someone...........anyone at all..........................help me to understand before i loose control.....................
Earth help me.........I am wandering but i know not whether I am lost or but misguided......
~Avalonaia~

Rain, rain

come to stay.

Never ever go away.

Wind don't blow

just left flow.

Tears of angels down below!

Rain, rain

come to stay.

Never ever go away.

Lightening still

Thunder rest

Let the rain be all that's left!

A spell my father taught be long ago in another life. I have been told he much regretted the lesson as I soon began to make it rain all the time. ;)

Who we are and who we've been. That sentence frustrates me, intrigues me. I want to leave it alone yet want to pick it apart all at the same time. I think i'm stuck. Stuck somewhere between who I used to be and who i'm supposed to be now. Everyone I know who has had past lives has seemed to be able to face the fact that that was then this is now. But some unknown reason I can't leave it be. My husband doesn't want to talk about his pasted lives that I was in for some reason. And every time i ask him questions about it he just throws up the "i dunno" wall. Telling me he doesnt' know everything and i'm just not asking the right questions. I hate the fact I can't remember. I hate the fact no one not just the husband will tell me anything about what I was like. Was I that bad, that horrible of a person? Everyong keep saying "Quit living in the past". I can't, I can't let go of it. I have this gift of seeing things as they once were. Before man touched it with that thing called civilization. *sigh* I hope some day they invent a time machine....I'd go back in time and never come back......

Well I guess i'm never came back and posted about New Orleans...lol. I couldn't really think of anymore to say : / lol anyways onward!

 

So how was my journey to a city older than dirt(lol)? it was totally amazing. The memories the people you would see from the past and the present. I loved it. It had it's dark moments, no my dreams weren't nightmare less, but it was good to get away. To have us time for my and the hubby :) i'll post more later.